You chose to raise, now play your cards

You know often i find myself calling god with my shoe.**gigglez
Ok not really, but i often find myself questioning god && whether he has any influence as to what i do with my life or how i weigh out my options & end up making the decisions that i do.
I do believe that the devil takes part with humanity & helps provoke or entice people to give in to their wants. However what does god really do??
I wonder all the time whether he just sits and watches. Like he already knows that he's made his players in a game of cards, all different with different values and purposes. However how we choose to play our part is up to us. Maybe God is a sadist. I'm not being rude or whatnot but doesn't it feel like sometimes he just lets things happen. Even when those are losing faith, the way he gets us to find it again is by letting something bad happen again and then you find yourself pulling yourself through it.
I believe 'Death' is easy, 'Living' is the hard part. Or maybe this is hell and we're trying to buy our way into heaven before being condemned to another life here again. I'm not sure. I'd love to know what others think of this...