This entry is just based on the fact that there's a lot of uncertainty when it comes to self esteem. A lot of people act confident, as an exterior however inside feel like the ugly duckling. Today feeling a little down myself, I realized that as people in general, we are going to get our days when we feel down and ugly and unwanted and all the words that have similar meanings. Being an aspiring Author myself; I sat at my computer and wrote a short story in regards to it.Standing in the center of Mike's studio, I've never felt so self-conscious before in my life. He was good looking, typical but good looking. He had chocolate brown hair with shades of auburn throughout with the lightest of Grey eyes, before it turned white. He was good looking, I was ordinary.
I had black red hair, which is the deepest of reds without it being called neither black or red. It was unique but I had nothing else to set me apart from anyone else besides that. I had ordinary brown eyes and a face that is easily forgotten. Though for some bizarre reason, here I am--naked and vulnerable, standing in front of a man that's drawing me. Every line, every curve and hidding nowhere.
"I'm nearly done Joanne." he said whimsically. I nodded nervously and waited ten minutes more before he told me I can put my robe back on.
I honestly don't recall what got me to do this-- maybe I thought he was going to sleep with me, maybe that's all I need to get my self-esteem built up. Either or all, I didn't expect this, and I certainly didn't expect the sketch infront of me. I looked into Mike's eyes and he held amusement to it.
"Your face" he laughed "why do you look so surprised? Do you not like it?"
I saw every line, I saw every curve and nothing was hidden--it didn't need to be. The picture was beautiful, the detail was incredible. I could see myself in that sketch, yet it was like seeing myself for the first time.
"It's beautiful." I said, as I turned to look towards Mike who was smiling.
"You're beautiful, you just couldn't see it before." He kissed me on the hand and gave me privacy as I got changed. When I was fully dressed once again, he bid me goodbye, and gave me the orginal to the picture. I shook my head and refused but he insisted.
"Joanne, I know you're beautiful--you're the one that needs reminding." I smiled as a tear ran down my cheek. I walked out of that house feeling like I've just met myself for the first time again.
Six months later I saw Mike as I was sitting at a quiet coffee shop, not far from where we met the first and the last time. As he approached this uncertain pretty girl, he spoke to her with such certainty that it made me smile as she did. He turned around as if sensing my presence and smiled as he motioned this girl away. She went willingly, like I did but little did she know that her life was about to change, like mine did.